I actually can’t believe it’s only been 15 weeks with all the moments and adventures with my precious little man Baby G. I finally feel like he’s making some good progress with his weight gain but I will know for sure after his doctor appointment this week. He surely is a hungry fella who rarely cries but when he’s hungry he is sure to scream until I get that bottle :). With the weight has also come restful nights. I never pushed him to be on a schedule or tried to sleep train him, instead I just let him tell me what he wanted and needed…. And one night he just started sleeping through the night. I can’t believe how easy it was…. And I doubt it will remain that easy! But I am so thankful for the sleep and happy he’s comfortable.
He’s also finally smiling…oh how it warms my heart when he smiles back at me. He’s still awkwardly trying to figure out how and when to smile which could not be any cuter ❤️
Over the last few weeks, the questions keep coming about how his case is progressing and if adoption is still the plan. About 3 months into a child entering foster care the court holds a “permanancy planning hearing” (from my experience which is limited… And of course no case is the same). Anyhow, Baby G had his hearing two weeks ago and the court is proceeding with a termination of parental rights hearing in November. I cautiously share his story because it is RARE to have a case move this quickly to termination in foster care! I do not want to paint the picture that this is normal for those who are foster parents or considering foster parenting. Lil Baby G’s mother has not been involved with his life since the day he was born and no father is known, so that means the process has not included the highly important phase of trying to reunify the parents with the child. Reunification is the top priority of the foster care system. Unfortunately for Lil Baby G that isn’t an option.
While I am thankful for not having the long drives for hours of visitation, etc, I do wish I had the opportunity to meet his bio-mom so I could tell him about her one day and answer the questions he might have. There is obviously a beauty in him not having the confusion of multiple parenting figures and the additional stress, but I also strongly believe that knowing your heritage and where you come from is important and relevant.
While no parents are currently involved in his life that doesn’t mean that adoption is a sure thing. At any point along this journey, if a qualified kinship came forward he could be taken away from me in a matter of days… Yes, days. Kinship takes precedence over foster parents. Even if a foster parent is all the child has known since birth, a kinship (a relative or close family friend that has been involved in the child’s life) will most likely have the right to the child. It’s a tough reality to have such uncertainty, but it is one that foster parents face everyday. I have another foster mommy whom I work with that is going through the pain of a surprise kinship 9months in with her little guy…. All I can do is pray for her and encourage her to be strong and trust in the bond she has with the child and God’s amazing will for what is best for him.
I really work to just keep focused on loving Baby G despite the fact that there’s a chance I could lose him. Many people often hear our story and say “I couldn’t do it.” I would challenge that comment… Everyone in this life could be gone tomorrow and we love our children, family and friends anyway, right? Why does a foster child deserve anything less?
The situation is far from ideal, but we are making the best of it and will figure it out one step at a time. This journey has many uncertainties as all of life does. From when I was a little girl playing with my baby dolls I have dreamed of being a mother. I have been a “step” mother and a “foster” mother… And by the grace of God (hint to Baby G’s given name) I am finally just a mother with no other prefix. I may not have given birth to him or legally even be his mother yet, but I am all the only mommy he knows outside the womb. While I truly love being both a stepmom and a foster mom, there is something special and irreplaceable about being a mom. It has been on the top of my bucket list for life and I wouldn’t trade these months with Baby G even if he happens to be taken away from me at some point on this journey. The joy of motherhood far exceeds any pain that might arise.
(This is lil baby G’s spot while I blog… If only I could nap so easy!)
So the praying and waiting continues as we step through each phase towards adoption. We are months away from adoption being finalized if it does, but so far the journey has been smooth and is proceeding faster than most. If the process continues as such to adoption it will truly be a miracle that I am blessed to be a part of.
Thank you for reading and being a part of our journey! We are so grateful 🙂
