7 days… Time has flown by!
From the moment I got the call last Wednesday as I was making myself dinner, I have hardly slowed down to process all that’s been happening over the last week. My mind and time has been consumed with managing the care and needs of my lil A’s. From the first tasks of rushing out to buy another car seat and clothes for Big A who was “unplanned” (not that much at all about foster care is planned by its nature), to the daily tasks tonight of getting both A’s bathed and tucked into bed… It’s been one crazy journey. All the training and preparation couldn’t have prepared me for what this week has been like emotionally, physically and spiritually.
One of my biggest lessons learned for me is to try to make time each day to slow down and process the day. Just days in as I drove myself to work for the first time since the kids arrived I found myself in tears as it was the first time I slowed down enough to actual check in with myself and allow my own emotions to be expressed. But the drives only last so long and it’s “go-time” again, so I brushed it off and kept going.
On Sunday at church, as it came time for communion and prayer I found myself overwhelmed and in tears again. In all the craziness and busyness of the past few days I had yet to slow down and pray. All the emotions of the trauma my lil A’s have been through this week and the years prior, the mother whose children I now hold and tuck into bed at night, the siblings who have been separated from my A’s (they are the youngest of 5), all the questions Big A asks that I can’t answer for him, and the great uncertainty that lies ahead of us. My prayers for these two kiddos are BIG and weigh heavy on my heart.
I have realized I need to pray regularly and often to help me be strong through this journey. In perfect timing, the Jesus Calling daily devotional that my Aunt Martha sent to me arrived and I made time tonight to read today’s message:
“When something in your life or thoughts makes you anxious, come to Me and talk about it. bring Me your prayer and petition with thanksgiving, saying: ‘Thank you, Jesus, for this opportunity to trust You more.’ Though the lessons of trust that I send to you come wrapped in difficulties, the benefits far outweigh the cost.”
It was just the message I needed to hear 🙂
I am so grateful that God has answered my prayers. When I bought this house a little over a year ago, similar to my choice to be a foster mom, I got questions about why I bought a 4 bedroom house in the middle of suburbia with a playset in the backyard for just me (a newly single female with no kids). I remember telling one of my best friends that I felt a calling that this house would be for something bigger than myself and would serve as a place of ministry. I didn’t know then for what or how, but I trusted Him that it was the “right” one.
Tonight each bedroom is occupied, toys are everywhere (including the backyard with a new baby swing for lil A), countertop space is hard to find, barking dogs and children’s laughter echos throughout, and love abounds… My heart and this house are full, just as I prayed it would.
